As a creativity coach, I generally discourage the use of the words "could have," "should have," or "would have" because they put the emphasis on the negative. They are cousins of "if only." Those words are not always productive. That's when negativity overshadows objectivity.
However, it can be a great exploration to consider what might have been a hope deferred -- remembering some of the creativity of earlier days, perhaps as a child. To ask yourself, how would my life be different if I had followed a different path might, in this case, allow you to ask bigger questions such as "Why not now?" or "What could I do to engage in that in a different way now?" or "How can I include that creative part of myself now?"
Further exploration might be to sit quietly and ponder this question: "What were you doing as a child or teenager where you were so engrossed and filled with energy in the process that you lost all track of time?"
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